18. February 2013 · Comments Off · Categories: Why Relationships Fail

Living Together Before Marriage

These days, there are a lot of reasons why couples consider living together before marriage. But is it really a good idea?

Some of the reasons people give are:

  • Combine/reduce living expenses
  • Spend more time together
  • They hate being apart
  • The need to determine if they are compatible
  • She’s afraid that he might lose interest

 

Here is a video with one person’s opinion:

 

The truth is, after doing some research on the subject, I still don’t have the answer. I found many opinions for and against living together before marriage.

Personally, I would tend to avoid it. It seems that living together would shortcut the natural dating process and possibly take away any urgency that he would otherwise have to propose. As the old saying goes, why buy the cow when the milk is free.

I think it’s best to concentrate on moving the relationship forward and waiting for marriage before moving in together.

It’s important to remember that all relationships stall from time to time and experience problems. But living together will not make things better; in fact, it would probably have the opposite affect. Instead, simply identify any problems that you might have and work on them. It may seem like I’m over simplifying things, but it’s really not that difficult. If you need some help, watch this.

 

06. September 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: Why Relationships Fail

Why Men Pull Away

Ladies, if you’ve been in the dating world for any length of time, you’ve no doubt experienced the phenomenon of a man pulling away just as things seem to be going great. Sometimes it can be a subtle feeling that something is not quite right, and other times a very obvious distance forms out of nowhere between the two of you. If this has ever happened to you (or if you’re experiencing it right now) you may have been (or may be) left wondering what happened. And, more importantly, you probably wondered what you could do to fix the problem.

This is actually a very common occurrence.

So, why do men pull away?

What is it that causes a man to sabotage, or derail, what seems to be a good relationship that is on the right track?

The following video explains one possible reason why this may happen, and how you can react.

 

 

I found that video to be informational in explaining how particular chemicals can affect some of our actions. But it only covered one possible cause of why men pull away. My experience has been that people (men in this case) react to situations based on many factors. And most of those factors have to do with past and present experiences, such as how he was raised (his relationship with his parents), previous romantic relationships, advice he has received, and people he interacts with.

One other factor may be his age and maturity level. People mature at different rates and age is not an accurate determining factor of maturity. Often times women mature romantically much sooner than men. If you try to force a relationship with a man who is not emotionally prepared, he will no doubt pull away.

The next video offers a much more thorough explanation of why men pull away and what you can do to pull him back.

Why Men Pull Away

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO


I hope that last video was helpful. T. Dub Jackson is a wonderful relationship coach. He digs far deeper than anyone else I’ve seen to uncover the real causes of our negative actions and shows us real methods to repair broken relationships.

 

Why Men Pull Away

25. May 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: How To Keep Him

How to Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

There’s no doubt about it, long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. Everyone who has ever tried can certainly attest to that.

They usually start out with daily phone calls, texts, etc. But more times than not, the enthusiasm gradually wears off as time goes on and the relationship fades.

At some point distrust and suspicion often sets in and just destroys the relationship completely.

So how do you make a long distance relationship work?

I found the article below that tells the story of a young lady who was in love with a military man and attempted to maintain a long distance relationship with him. Although things did not end perfectly for her, she does share some great first hand knowledge about how to make a long distance relationship work.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

I was young and head over heals for my military man. I was starting College and he was being shipped across the country. We would spend up to 8 months apart and 2 weeks together before he would then ship out again. There were many emotional up’s and downs in this relationship. Choosing to fight through them and be together although challenging presented us with a stronger ability to be close.

Some of the biggest challenges we faced in our relationship were:

  • Communication
  • Closeness
  • Trust

Many relationships suffer from these 3 challenges. What makes these even larger in a long distance relationship is the distance factor. When you are around someone everyday you have the body language along with conversation. You have the touch when you are sad or alone. You have a sense of trust because they are close by. With long distance relationships you must now rely on a new senses and styles to effectively keep these together.

It is not an impossible feat if you both are together. You now just have to adjust and learn them in a new way. When entering a long distance relationship you must be comfortable in accepting these new ways of being together. It is your comfort level that will ultimately determine how you will stay together.

In discussing some of these key factors and how we dealt with them it became clear to me that the keys to closeness and trust were in the communication. The root of a relationship is communication and it can only grow into closeness and trust if given the right attention. As long as both parties stay committed to the work it takes the relationship will have a fighting chance.

Communication
Since we could not see each other we relied a lot on phone conversations. The phone can present the influx in voice, silence, and a sense of being there with the person. During these phone conversations we talked about your events and things you have done. This will also contribute to our trust factors. Talking about your daily lives will give each other a sense of closeness that carries you through.

Since he was in the military we didn’t have much choice to but to communicate on the phone on few occasions. In this case we relied on other ways we communicate such as letters, pictures, and emails. We were constantly communicating even if at times it was a week or two between. We always picked up where we left off and that made communication that much easier.

This was years ago and with today’s technology it is even more optimal because you can now utilize many other options for communications. One big one to mention is webcams.

Closeness
Closeness is felt in how you communicate with the other person. Seeing pictures and sending love letters via mail or email can be quite good. Often times when I was feeling alone and missing my man greatly I would sit and write him. I found that by telling him about my feelings and how much I missed him I was able to cope with my feelings.

When we were able to be together for a few short weeks we found that the closeness we developed in communicating made our time together wonderful.

Trust
This really is an important piece. Since you do not see this person regularly it is hard to know what they are doing. If you go a week or two between communications your mind can start to wander and think the worst. Trusting is something you choose to do and good communication and closeness will make that feeling stronger. By staying open about your daily lives in communication trust becomes easier to obtain.

Our relationship lasted 3 years long distance. I have known many that have lasted forever. All of them agree that the keys to long distance relationships are in the communication. Closeness and Trust come with the root of good communication. We parted on good terms and we both still care a great deal for each other. We just moved in different directions. It was that closeness and communication that enabled us to make that decision for us.

Melissa Aytche
Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work&id=1695610

 

There are a lot of situations that could force any of us into a long distance relationship situation, such as military duty (as in Melissa’s case), family responsibilities, job relocation, etc.

If you find yourself facing this challenge, you owe it to yourself to be as prepared as you can possibly be to maintain closeness in your relationship. Prepare yourself by learning real and proven techniques (not tricks) to nurture and preserve your relationship  Afterall, knowledge is power.

The video below is full of just this type of advice. I warn you, it’s a bit long, but the content is priceless. Just click the video to get started.

Click Here

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

 

 

It’s sad to watch two people who are so obviously in love have to live so far apart. You can almost feel the angst and longing that they must feel for each other when they’re separated.

Unfortunately, these two people are susceptible to outside forces and temptations coming between them. Even time has a way of wearing on relationships. And when a couple is not able to see each other on a regular basis, there is a pretty good chance that they will grow apart.

I certainly hope that they are able to withstand those outside forces and hang on to what they have until their circumstances change and they are able to be together. They would be wise to get some good advice from a qualified person who can help them not only maintain, but grow their relationship.

 

 

11. May 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: How To Keep Him

How to Keep Him Interested

7 Quick Tips To Spark His Interest And Keep Him Interested Forever

When it comes to the most important man in your life, you need to know how to keep him interested both now and forever. While you might find yourself thinking about him 24/7, do you know if he’s doing the same?

Every girl remembers the start of a new relationship where the tingly feelings of butterflies in the stomach could be felt. But how do you make that last forever? I mean, isn’t that what we’re all looking for? What can you do to make your man love you more and more with each passing day as your relationship moves toward marriage and beyond?

Learn how to mesmerize him and make him think about you and love you all the time by following these simple tips on how to keep him interested.

1. Don’t let him see it when little things bothers you

One of the biggest mistakes women make is to whine and complain over the little things. While some things are certainly important and need to be addressed, persistent badgering will only drive him away. No man likes to be constantly confronted with questions like: why didn’t you call yesterday, where were you last night, etc. Berating him with questions like these is only going to push him away rather than keep him interested.

At the start of a relationship, a man’s hormones are on overdrive, making him want you all the time. But as time goes on, those hormones subside a bit and the relationship calms down. But after some time together, you should both be comfortable enough with each other that he doesn’t need to call every few hours to show his love and affection toward you.

Coming across as needy is one of the worst things you can do as it will only cause him to pull away.

If you find yourself getting angry over minor things, call a friend and unload your feelings on her, first. After getting things off your chest, you might just realize that you were blowing things a little out of proportion. This tip, alone, will go a long way toward keeping him interested and could save your relationship.

Click Here For Helpful Tips And Advice From One Of The Top Relationship Experts

2. Appreciate him

As a relationship progresses, many women set out to change things about their man which they think are for the better – they want to mold him into the perfect image they hold in their heads.

Learn to accept him for who he is – his interests, quirks, and unique characteristics. Ask yourself why you are going out with him in the first place if you think you need to change him.

The next time you think about wanting to mold your partner into the person you want him to be, think about how you would feel if he tried to change your sense of individuality and fix what he perceives your character imperfections to be.

Don’t focus on the things he does wrong, instead focus on what he does right. For example, try to appreciate the little things he does, such as opening the door for you, complementing your appearance or being a good listener.

When he senses that you appreciate him for who he really is he will without a doubt be far more dedicated to your relationship. And that will definitely keep him interested.

3. Together Vs. Separate

Doing things together is important, but so is doing things separately. This will give you more topics to talk about, more of a reason to talk, and different experiences to share. Guys love it when their partner has a life of her own instead of sitting at home all day waiting for their call. The next time your man has a guy’s night out, have a girl’s night out.

4. Give him space

If you want to know how to keep him interested, giving him space is a very important aspect of making any relationship work now and for years to come.

When you have been with your partner for some time, you become pretty good at being able to tell when something is wrong. However, keep in mind that despite the fact that you may like to share your problems, he might not be as forthcoming as you. When handling a situation like this, forcing your support on him may be the opposite of what he needs and wants.

While it is no secret that girls are more emotional and prefer to talk things over with their friends and their partner, the majority of men prefer keeping things to themselves and generally like to go it alone. Understand that this has nothing to do with you. He just has his own way of dealing with things.

5. Let him be a man

It doesn’t matter if you are dating a guy who is full of confidence or whether he is a shy guy, deep down he wants to assert himself as the man and be your knight in shining armor.

From the little things like changing a light bulb and killing that spider to the bigger things such as doing major DIY improvements, let him know that he is the only real man in your life. This will give him more self esteem and a greater sense of pride. If your man derives his happiness from you, it is very likely that things will continue to progress for the both of you going forward.

6. Spend quality time together

While it is important to give your man space, it is just as important for both of you to spend some quality time together. If you are currently living with your boyfriend or fiancé, both of you might take too much comfort in the security of the relationship and feel that simply living together is all the quality time that is needed. That’s a mistake.

A relationship cannot stay interesting when the only things done together are eating, watching TV, and sleeping. Try to do something new and different together and notice how you both instantly feel closer to each other.

7. Keep it slow and steady

Many new relationships these days end up in the bedroom before the couple has even had a chance to get to know each other. You don’t want to do that.

We all know that most guys will certainly try to take things there as soon as possible, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give in. I’m certainly not advising you to be a prude, but if you rush in to these things too quickly, before long there won’t be much left to discover about each other and the relationship might just fizzle out.

Taking things slowly has another advantage. It will quickly reveal his true intentions: whether he thinks of you as just another notch on his belt or if actually wants to have a real relationship.

Discovering how to keep him interested is really as simple as taking a common sense approach to your relationship. Treating him with honesty and respect, the same way that he should be treating you, will go a long way in building a lasting bond.

If you’d like to learn more about how to keep him interstedClick HereT-Dub Jackson, one of the foremost relationship experts, has posted a video that contains a lot of excellent pointers that will not only help you keep him interested, but also move your relationship along and take it to the next level. I can’t stress enough how good this guy is. So Click Here to check out his video.

How To Keep Him Interested

02. May 2012 · Comments Off · Categories: How To: Get Noticed

How To Get A Guy to Notice You

Finding Your Mr. Right: Six Tips that Work

You want to learn how to get a guy to notice you but you are also looking for ways to avoid the mistakes you have made before. You want to discover that one individual who is perfect for you and ready for a serious relationship. The dating scene is still exciting and there are so many opportunities out there but nobody seems to be ready for a major commitment.

You have finally reached a point in your life that makes you demand security, stability and the longevity of a future relationship. It is possible to find a guy who is ready to become your significant other, although occasionally this seems like a mission impossible. Obviously, the magical formula is yet to be invented, but you can follow specific tips that will maximize your chances of success.

Click Here For Helpful Tips And Advice From One Of The Top Relationship Experts

Know What You are Looking for
To best answer “how to get a guy to notice you,” you must first know what you’re looking for. Many women experience dating and relationship fiascos because they have no idea about the things that they really want to get from their romantic involvement. Before you learn how to get a guy to notice you, focus on your own desires and needs.

Think about your past relationships and the things that you were missing. Just like in other typical life situations, you will have to work on your priorities before jumping to a new relationship opportunity.

Do you want someone who will be faithful and supportive? Are you looking for a person that is highly ambitious and that will help you move forward? Maybe you want someone to talk to and to share your fears and dreams, a best friend who is also romantically involved with you. Knowing what you are looking for is the first prerequisite for relationship success.

Learn from Your Mistakes
The past may be painful and frightening. Your natural urge will be to forget everything about it. Still, the mistakes you made can provide some useful lessons that will increase your chance of success in your next relationship.

Many women are finding it difficult to meet a guy who is ready for a serious relationship precisely because they have a disasterous romantic pattern that gets repeated over and over again. They date the same type of men and they end up disappointed each time. So maybe instead of “how to get a guy to notice you.” we should really address “how to get the right guy to notice you.”

You must analyze the relationships of the past, even if it hurts. Does a pattern emerge? Becoming familiar with your mistakes and the subconscious desires that make you pursue a specific type of individual will help you maximize your chances of success in the future.

Take It Slow

You want to know how to get a guy to notice you and you want to take that attraction to the level of a serious relationship. One of the biggest mistakes that many women commit involves rushing the process.

Take it slow and be mysterious. Tickle his curiosity. Laying all of your cards on the table will make him lose interest very fast. He should be learning something new and interesting about you each time that you meet. Showing him all of your amazing characteristics, jumping in bed on the first date and declaring him the love of your life too soon will jeopardize your relationship prospects.

We live in a very dynamic society and we are used to rushing everything. Making your romantic encounters slow and delicate will provide you with a tremendously enjoyable alternative to the quick-paced lifestyle you are leading.

Self-Confidence and Positivism
Relationship fiascos have affected your self-confidence, making you doubt yourself, your appearance and your charisma. Learning how to be happy with your own self is the only way to get noticed.

This is probably the most important tip to help you learn how to get a guy to notice you. Self-confidence affects men and the manner in which they perceive you. Some of the most popular women are far from fashion models. Still, these ladies feel sexy and they project confidence. Men adore confident women, women who feel happy in their own skin.

Work out if you need to lose some weight and to feel better about yourself. Change your wardrobe. Improve your social skills. Flirting is a game that you should be enjoying rather than fearing. The happier you feel about the entire process, the easier it will be for you to attract men. Making even small changes can have an enourmos affect on your self confidence. And being self-confident will absolutely get you noticed.

Be Open-Minded
Many women are incapable of discovering men that are ready for a serious relationship because of stereotypes and their own expectations. Being open-minded will provide you with so many new opportunities.

Refrain from judging a guy solely on the basis of his appearance. Give him a chance. He may be kind, caring and funny – everything that you are looking for. Having strict expectations about your partners will make it impossible to find someone real, someone who meets all of your requirements. Let go of your preconceived notions and be open minded.

Waiting for Prince Charming is going to make you waste time, while you could be enjoying the company of someone imperfect (in other words: real), someone who is willing to meet the future by your side. Forget about your expectations and try something new. You will be surprised by the results.

Find Romantic Opportunities in New Ways
The typical places to look for romance include the bar, your workplace and dating websites. It is possible to find someone ready for a relationship in alternative ways. In fact, refraining from romantic involvement in the traditional ways may be just what you need.

Enroll in a culinary class. Learn a new language. Join an interest group. You will be learning something new and you will be meeting similar-minded individuals. Many great love stories are born precisely in this way. The men you will meet in such groups will have similar passions and interests. This is one of the most important prerequisites for a fully-functional relationship.

Getting men to notice you and starting a new relationship should be fun and easy. Anything that demands too much work and too many sacrifices is simply wrong. Try to work on your attitude. Be positive and refrain from rushing the process. Great things do happen when you least expect them. Enjoy your life, learn new things, travel and have fun. The right guy is out there and you will find him if you broaden your horizon. Be happy with yourself and to seize the opportunities that life provides.

Want to learn more about how to get a guy to notice you? Click Here
to watch a video posted by T-Dub Jackson. He’s one of the most prolific relationship experts that I’ve come across. In his video, T Dub talks about how he came to be an expert on relationships and gives a lot of excellent pointers on how to start and build a lasting relationship. I think you’ll love his style and southern charm. Again, Click Here
to watch the video

How To Get A Guy To Notice You